Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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