Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize