So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
