I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
