Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Randomize
