that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
