So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Too much gin, very little bucket
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
