Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Randomize
