I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
