i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
