Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize