I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
