My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
