your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Ketchup is God's man juice
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
