we're blogging at a bar
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
