Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
