Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
3pm strippers are depressing
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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