"it" just moved
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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