Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize