White coat. Heels.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Randomize
