I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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