What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
