Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
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