you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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