I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
The best revenge is premature balding
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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