I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
how drunk are you?
Several
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
