The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
