I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
