I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
