My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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