if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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