I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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