dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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