the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
