He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
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