ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
