David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
