I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
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I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
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