I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
