Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
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