Can i not drive my cunt home
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
