U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
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You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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