well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
