He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
