I've blown a few things in my day
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
im holly from the hills drunk
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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