When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
