Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
