i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
