1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
