i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
