youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
