so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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