Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
