I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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