there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
sarcasm needs its own font
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
