i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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