think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
