some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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