be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
