So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
