Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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