I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Randomize