i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
