wrigley field is MILF paradise
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
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the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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