will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Randomize
