so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
