Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
